I was taught my entire life that Jesus was the only way to get to heaven. I was taught that he suffered and died on the cross for my sins so that I could be forgiven and that without his sacrifice no one would merit G_d's forgiveness. You see no one could ever be good enough on his or her own to spend eternity with a perfect and holy G_d and G_d could not look upon, or be around sin. I was told that because of all my sin, the only thing I deserved was eternal death and separation from G_d. So I needed a savior. Someone who was perfect and sinless to take on himself all my sins...in fact all the sins of the world. That the only way I could get rid of my sins was to accept Jesus as the son of G_d and ask his forgiveness. Then accept him into my heart and live a life the way Jesus wanted me to.
When I was 9 years old, I made that long trip to the alter and tearfully confessed my sins and asked Jesus into my heart. It was a life changing moment. I was forgiven of all of my nine years of sinful acts and thoughts. I was free and my soul felt light as a feather. The blue sky was bluer, the grass was greener and the world a more beautiful place. I wanted to live a life that would make Jesus proud. I tried my best to live as honest and truthfully as possible even though it sometimes got me into trouble. I tried to love everyone, even the people who were mean to me. That was hard, but many times, by being nice to the mean people, I ended up with friends who protected me from other mean people. I smiled a lot. Even when things were going wrong in my life, I tried to smile and be in a positive mood. When I saw someone who looked sad, I would go to them and tell them that Jesus loves them and so do I.
Through the years I learned to trust G_d in everything. I learned to turn to Him in my every need and to praise Him when wonderful things happened to me. My faith and trust grew and I owed it all to Jesus. He was my best friend and my confidant. But looking back I remember having questions. Like, if nothing is impossible for G_d, then why is it impossible for Him to be around evil? I mean how was it that He was able to have a conversation with the Devil in the book of Job? And how come He needed to send someone to die for us? Couldn't He just forgive us Himself? Then there were times when I would be thanking Jesus for something great that had happened and I would get this little voice in the back of my mind that would say, "What about Me?" I started feeling like I was leaving G_d out of the equation. Didn't Jesus always give thanks to Him for things? It was a little confusing. As I read my Bible, I came across things in the New Testament that seemed to not fit with what I had read in the Old Testament. Like, for instance, the "New Covenant" that Jesus introduced just before he was crucified. And the thing he said about the wine representing his blood. I knew that Jews were not supposed to consume blood. The Old Testament that he was under during his life time was in force and it said in several places not to consume blood.
Long story short, I spent 54 years worshiping Jesus as G_d. My whole relationship with G_d was based on this and I felt like I had a very close relationship with Him. I know for a fact that He was the one who comforted me in my deepest sorrow and protected me from harm. He provided things for me when I had no way of getting them on my own. I did not even have to ask. He directed my paths and performed little miracles for me that boosted my faith and my joy at the same time. He met with me in my prayer time and taught me as I read His word. My understanding was not from my own wisdom, it was from Him. I was proud to be a Christian and brazen enough to let the world know it. I loved to talk to people about my faith and my beliefs.
But one day, after months of research and prayer, I had to admit that I could no longer call myself a Christian. I still had the same devotion and love for G_d, but I no longer believed that Jesus was who I was taught to believe he was. Easy to say...not so easy to wrap my mind around. But here are some of the reasons why I believe Jesus was never necessary.
Isaiah 60:16 "...I, HaShem (literally means, The Name of G_d) am your Savior and your Redeemer..."
Isaiah 45: 21-22 "...there is no righteous god besides Me and no savior other than Me. turn to Me and be saved, all ends of the earth, for I am G_d and there is no other."
Isaiah 45: 15 "...the G_d of Israel is the Savior."
Isaiah 43:25 "I, only I am He who wipes away your willful sins for My sake, and I shall not recall your sins."
Jeremiah 36: 2-3 "...Perhaps the House of Judah will hear of all the evil that I intend to do to them, so that they can repent, each man, from his evil way and then I can forgive their sin and transgression."
Psalm 51:17 "The sacrifices of G_d are a broken spirit, a broken and contrite heart- these, O G_d, you will not despise."
Jeremiah 7:3-7 Thus said HaShem, Master of Legions, God of Israel: Improve your ways and your deeds and I will cause you to dwell in this place. ...Only if you truly improve your ways and your deeds; if you truly do justice between man and his fellow; do not oppress stranger, orphan and widow; and do not shed innocent blood in this place; and do not go after the gods of others, to your own harm..."
Leviticus 26:44 "But despite al this, while they will be in the land of their enemies, I will not have been revolted by them nor will I have rejected them to obliterate, to annul My covenant with them-for I am HaShem, their G_d."
Jeremiah 32:40 : "I will seal an everlasting covenant with them: that I shall never depart from them..."
These, among others, tell me that G_d is the only one who can and does forgive willful sins. He alone is our Savior and all we have to do is truly repent, ask for His forgiveness and change our ways. It tells me He abhors the shedding of innocent blood. The idea of a sinless person being put to death for the sins of all people goes against G_d. It tells me there was never a "new covenant" made. G_d's covenant with Israel that was made at Sinai still stands and always will.
Now, here is the kicker:
Isaiah 45:7 "I am the One Who forms light and creates darkness, Who makes peace and creates evil, I am Hashem, Maker of all these."
I checked the original Hebrew and the translation of "creates evil" is translated correctly. G_d creates evil. My Jewish friends tell me that Satan is an angel G_d created to try to tempt people and get them to not follow G_d. That without Satan, we would not have free will. If He created it, He can certainly stand to be in its presence.
My conclusion is that Jesus was never necessary. While Christianity provided me a path to righteousness, I believe I have found a more accurate road to travel down.
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